What A Year It's Been

It was a year ago today that I found out I was pregnant with our fourth baby. It wasn't necessarily a "planned" pregnancy, but when the pregnancy test showed a positive result, I was thrilled.


As any woman can tell you, when you find out you're pregnant, your mind immediately fast-forwards nine months and creates a vision of what life will be like with a new baby. I was no different. I calculated my due date to be at the beginning of July. We were renting a house at the time, but I figured we would certainly be settled into our new home long before this baby was born. I already felt plenty stretched with three little kids, but I figured one more would just make life more exciting. Would it be a girl or boy? Would this be our last? What would we name it? All these questions flew through my mind in a matter of minutes as the reality of being pregnant settled in.

About ten days later, as I was driving Isaac home from preschool, I started having severe abdominal cramps. By the time I got home, every sign pointed to the fact that I was having a miscarriage. I was so disappointed as my vision for our life nine months later crumbled inside my mind and heart. As Andrew and I talked about the miscarriage, there was a part of us that thought that maybe the timing was for the best. We could have another baby later when we felt more settled in life. Yes, we figured, although we were disappointed, it would work out for the best in the end.

Well, a few weeks went by, and I was still feeling lousy. I went to Andrew's hospital for a blood test, and a few hours later, Andrew called me with the results. I was still pregnant!

What a blessing that has been. The timing couldn't have been crazier - but the timing couldn't have been better either. Nothing in our life felt settled when Peter made his arrival. We moved into a new house four days before his birth and when he was born a week early, I hadn't even pulled out all the baby gear. Since his birth, we've had a few unexpected bumps in the road with his surgery and his helmet and all that's entailed. None of it could have been predicted when I took a pregnancy test a year ago.

But, we were wrong in assuming that not having a baby would have been for the best. Peter has been the best thing to happen to us in the past year. He came at just the right time. His birth forced me to take it easy this summer and to not get overwhelmed with the little details of moving into a new house. His birth gave me the opportunity to slow down and appreciate what is most important in life. He has calmed our family during a crazy time and continues to be a peaceful influence in our home.

As I loved and snuggled Peter today and thought about about what a year it's been, I was overwhelmed with gratitude that we have this sweet baby and that he came when he did. There is so much about his birth and life that is miraculous and precious and perfect. We are grateful for the spirit he has brought into our home and family. And, as we have discovered this year, timing really is everything.

Update on Peter

It was two months ago today that Peter had his surgery and he is doing really well. Last week we took him in for a scan of his head, and his head has gotten 4 millmeters shorter (from front to back) and 8 millimeters wider. His head is still longer and skinnier than it should be, but the helmet seems to be doing its job.

We are loving this little boy right now. He is such a happy, sweet baby. Over the past few weeks he has learned to laugh, has mastered the "fake cough" and he loves his feet. The other day I went in and found him asleep holding on to both his feet. It was darling.

Peter will celebrate his four-month birthday on Monday. On the one hand, it has gone by so quickly, but at the same time, we can't remember what our family was like before his arrival. It seems like he's been here forever. We are so grateful for this healthy, sweet baby.

Here are few pictures to show his progress. The "before" pictures were taken a few days before surgery, and the "after" pictures were taken today. We are really happy with the progress he is making and are so grateful for good doctors - and helmet makers.

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Our Weekend Getaway

We just got home from a weekend trip to San Francisco. Andrew, and I took Peter and visited Andrew's brother, Paul and his wife, Kim at their darling home in Sausalito. We had a great time with them - touring the area, eating at great restaurants, and just hanging out. It was a short trip, from Friday to Sunday, but it took everything in me to emotionally and mentally prepare to leave home and the other kids for even that short amount of time.

We left the kids with Andrew's sister, Liza and on Saturday, when Liza had to work, my sister Laura took care of them. They both did a great job and our kids love them both so much. I knew they would be well-cared for , but somehow that didn't make leaving home any easier.

Maybe it's just me, but what is it about being a mom that makes it so hard to let go of the reigns - even for a short time? What do we think will happen if we're not there to manage the minute family details even for a couple of days? Andrew had no problem packing up and leaving for a few days, but it was really hard for me to make the decision to actually get on that plane.

I am so glad that I went on this trip. Andrew and I had a great time together and it was fantastic seeing Paul and Kim. We came home and the universe wasn't in a holding pattern. Our kids were well-fed and loved, the house was clean and all was well. I realized that it is actually okay for me leave home and that the world won't fall apart without me here, but that doesn't mean I plan to risk it again any time soon.

Andrew and Peter Overlooking the Pacific

Peter and me at Rodeo Beach

Peter's first glimpse of Golden Gate Bridge

Whew...

The other day Abby came home from school and was telling me about her day. She said, "So, today during lunch, an older man was talking to me." (At this point I was a little nervous hearing my sweet daughter talk about some older man at school.)

She then finished her sentence. "He was like in fourth grade or something."

WHEW!!

Updates...

I feel like I haven't been so good at updating our blog lately, so here are some recent pictures and moments from our family.


Abby: There is a lot of drama in the life of a first-grade girl and it is evident in everything Abby does - especially in the way she talks. Recently, I bought Abby a new toothbrush and when I showed it to her, she responded by saying, "Oh thank you, thank you for the new toothbrush! I just didn't find my old toothbrush very inspiring!"

Another time, I told Abby and Isaac that I want to be the boss of them even when they're grown up. Abby responded by saying in a most dramatic way, "But Mom, then we'll never experience the pleasures of being the Boss!"


Isaac: Refers to Peter not as his brother, or as the new baby, but as our "new family member". It cracks me up.


He has discovered a love of soccer and especially loves his coach (okay, it's Andrew.) In one of Isaac's games he scored three goals and after each of them ran the length of the field with a huge grin and jumped into Andrew's arms for a hug. They were moments of pure joy - for both Isaac and Andrew. Every night as Isaac is climbing into bed, he hugs Andrew and says, "Good night, Coach!"


Henry: We aren't sure if Henry is bi-polar or just making the most of being a two-year-old. In a matter of seconds, he switches from between being the happiest, dreamiest child on earth to a collapsed puddle of tears on the floor. His favorite demand is for chocolate milk. In order for it to meet his approval, he believes it requires: Nesquick powder, Hershey's syrup, Carnation Instant Breakfast, and store-bought chocolate milk all combined in one sippy cup. Needless to say, it involves some major deceit on our part to convince him he is getting what he wants.

Henry has also become very independent. Here he is trying to put Mini-Wheats into a Ziploc bag. Apparently it was easier to dump the entire Costco-size bag onto the floor and fill it from there, rather than go straight from the box to the bag. (I've never been a fan of the intermediary step, but Henry obviously is.)



Abby, Isaac and Henry have great imaginations. Here they are playing astronaut - not terrorists, despite how it may look . (courtesy of Pull-ups and Huggies. )



And, despite how it may look, this is NOT a picture of Peter playing astronaut.
Peter is at a great stage. He just celebrated his three-month birthday and has discovered his voice and his feet. (He has yet to discover his helmet.) We are just totally in love with his peaceful personality, his bright eyes, his squishy cheeks and his huge toothless grin. We can't imagine our family without this sweet boy.